Part 1 - AGREEMENT
Yes, I Can!
The dictionary meaning of agree or agreement is to consent, concede, or agree. No doubt this can be a really big step in some situations. For instance: In marriage/surgeries/contracts/arguments.
Marriage:
This is usually a case of intense emotions, and where the intellect may be far removed from reason. The heart may be involved. but under the leadership of the emotions. In some countries, it was, and still may be, the responsibility of the parents to decide who is selected for this life long union. In the west, not so much. But because the emotions are so often in charge, there is no real knowledge of what one is agreeing to, until way down the rode of cohabitation, even if the couple has spent years living together unmarried. This is not necesssarilly a case of not knowing, but more of a case of denial.
Surgeries, and Contracts:
These agreements often require a second person and even legal consultation, before the agreement papers are signed. The language in these forms is often voluminous and complicated. Yet many will sign pre-surgical papers without much perusal of its contents and just rely on trust of the medical institution and of its staff. Trust and ignorance can be strange bedfellows, and give birth to undesired results.
Arguments:
Caution is the first rule to remember here. Why? Because this one can result in even more complications than the former two.
"Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting
convictions, who move with him like flies on a summer day."
...Bertrand Russell
In other words before the discussions begins, there are already fixed conclusions.
Before a union, for example, each person has an idea of who and how another person can support their idea of happiness. In point of fact, most of us don't have a clue of what happiness even looks like. Very often, because of mis-education by the media and even our social groupings, whether from family or associates, we have a tendency to replicate those experiences, whether positive or negative. So one or the other is blind sighted by assumptions, and the desire to be together, instead of questioning, and exploring habits, problem solving techniques, and our prospective mates past social history.
One example is the assumption that people who meet in Church or similar spiritual settings will be a good couple. Remember where you are is not the same as who you are. But certainly this could be a plus sign, directing one to keep going in the exploration of one another.
There are techniques that can be learned and can be helpful in supporting good exploration vs argument.**
This YouTube video was shared by my nephew, finding it helpful to his associates and himself. It offers some advice, and touches on one level of awareness, thus, I am sharing it with you.
Let us go a little deeper:
In the previous Blogs, we focused on INTENT as it related to different areas. The first blog was given as an example of one persons' experience. The second of history with the intent to form a 'good' society. The third referred to how a disease can untentionally bring us closer to our basic function with survival skills. The last, focused on how we can join together in our intent and motivation for the improvement of our world.
The only way to find happiness is to go a little deeper into our own awareness and intent. This way, when we agree to join anothers' intent, we recognize the requirement is to research their intent before joining with our statement of Yes I Can join with you. Because, once we agree, we are on the hook for whatever happens next.
Sometimes this only takes a deep breath and the recognition to a look at what we are feeling in the moment. Do we feel inspired, a little fearful, or have hesitency because of doubt, etc. In my opinion all those expressions are valid and should be followed by more exploration. This is just the experience of awareness waking up parts of ourselves. It is this awareness, when worked with properly, that will lead us to the joy we seek.
Friendships were not mentioned above, but friendships last only as long as intentions are clear and agreed upon by each other.
A simple rule before crossing the street is:
First, we check for safety;
Second, we check ourselves for readiness to go ahead;
Third, we make our decision to proceed.
Agreeing is similar. Do you feel the intent is ok, and safe?
Are you ready to join in this, with an agreement?
Well then, decide Yes, I can.
In summary, it is important to recognize that what appears as an intent coming from another, may simply be our own projection, of which we are now aware.
youtube.com Born I - In This Moment [Oficial video)****
'May your agreements be transformative, and enriching for self and others.'
*Explanation of one of the five Ingredients in THDandYou.
** Link: https://medium.com › the-5-principles-of-good-argume...
***Jordan Peterson - Agreeable and Disagreeable People YouTube
****youtube.com Born I - In This Moment [Official Video]